Training Kids To Be Tidy
How do we train our kids to be tidy?
1. Lead By Example
Before we can expect our kids to be tidy, we first need to learn how to keep our own things tidy. We have to walk the talk.
Next, let’s try to make tidying positive. People, kids included, naturally want to do things they see as pleasant and avoid things that they see as unpleasant.
And finally, let’s try to convey the importance of a tidy home. A tidy home:
Makes it easy to find what you need;
Makes it easy to invite friends over;
Makes it easy to concentrate on your homework so it takes less time;
Makes mom happy!
Tidying is a way to take care of our surroundings. And because our surroundings affect us, tidying is a way to take care of ourselves.
2. Teach Tidiness
Teaching tidiness is about giving kids tools to avoid unnecessary accumulation of stuff and guiding them in the letting go process, as well as helping them create and maintain homes for their belongings.
A. Curb The Inflow
Being tidy and organized is difficult if there are too many things. So first, teach your kids to not want too many things and to consider what it means to bring a new item home.
Before you go to a place where kids might ask for something, tell them we’re not buying anything this time, or we will only buy the thing we came to buy and nothing else. You need to stick with this promise.
If they keep asking for something they want rather than need, tell them they may ask for that as a birthday, Christmas, or other present. Many “needs” fade over time. You can offer to list these for them, or ask them to write it down themselves.
Even if the item is free, a toy from a dentist or a sticker from an event, teach your kids to consider if they truly want that item at home. Ask them how they would play with that toy or where they are planning to use the sticker.
It helps to be proactive and it's okay to say no.
B. Help Letting Go
If there are too many things, it’s time to choose what actually sparks joy for them and what can be let go.
Help your kids with decluttering by:
Reframing decluttering as choosing what they want to keep vs choosing what to get rid off.
Breaking things down into smaller categories. One day go through games, another day go through books, etc.
Keeping the decluttering time to 15-45minutes at a time.
Letting go gets easier with practice and choosing what sparks joy for them will help them know themselves better. Both are great life skills!
C. Home For Things
Next, you need to teach your kids that every item they own needs a home. Help them establish this.
Teach them that every cabinet, shelf, bin, or container should only be 80% full so that it’s still easy enough to take things out and put things back.
The goal is that the organizing systems created for your kids' stuff is something they can maintain themselves. This means ease overrides perfection!
Reinforce this every night by helping them put their things where they belong. Initially, they may need your physical help but over time they likely just need your friendly reminder.
3. Be Patient While They Learn
Tidying is a skill that we learn. And just like any other skill, it takes time and practice to master. We need to remember this and be forgiving when they don’t get things right.
Patience and repetition. Patience and repetition.
