A Decade Later - How KonMari'ing Changed My Life

A decade ago I discovered Marie Kondo’s book, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, which truly and honestly changed my life.

Have the effects been long-lasting? Yes! 

After reading the book it was like curtains had been opened to a truth that I was unable to see before. Once I saw it, I could no longer unsee it.

Here are 10 ways my life remains changed 10 years after my KonMari journey started:

1 Shopping

My shopping behavior drastically changed after KonMari’ing my home and remains that way.

I was always pretty good at letting things go and organizing but I was shopping for entertainment and lack of purpose without realizing it.

I no longer shop to spend time. Initially, there were moments when this made me a little sad. I was used to spending time with certain people this way. 

However, after tidying my whole home I also could not bear myself to buy things I now knew I didn’t need and would require me to declutter them in the near future. 

Today, I annually take a shopping trip with my mom or friend with specific items in my mind that I’m looking for with a nice long lunch or tea break in the middle to fully enjoy the company and time spent together.

Nowadays, an increasingly bigger portion of our shopping is done online so it’s important to address the issue of online shopping and marketing. 

I have unsubscribed from all marketing emails and strongly suggest everyone do that. This includes brands that I do buy from as I don’t want to get tempted to buy more than I need. 

Here are a few questions to ask before buying or bringing anything new into the home:

• Does this replace something I already have? Am I ready to let go of the old one? How will I let go of the old one?

• If it doesn’t replace anything I currently have, do I really need it? If I don’t necessarily need it do I love it enough that it’ll bring me joy six months from now? Am I willing to take care of this item today and in the future?

• Does it bring me more joy to have this item than it does to have clear space?

Now I no longer constantly search for what I’m missing but rather concentrate on expressing gratitude for what I already have.

2 Things

A few years ago I came across a photo of an old apartment I used to share with my now husband. Without the photo, I wouldn’t have remembered the amount of stuff we already had collected in our early twenties.

Now our home is tidier, even though we’ve added two kids into the mix!

Furniture:

We’re very mindful of the furniture we bring into our home. Furniture takes up a lot of space and any additional surface can, and often will, attract clutter.

During the tidying festival, I let go of our nightstands as I realized mine only collected clutter. They were not essential to us. Before, I simply had them because everyone had them.

This doesn’t mean my family lives in an empty home but just that sometimes we say no to items that ‘everyone’ should have (like bar stools around the kitchen island) because we don’t need them and we don’t want to maintain them.

Decorations:

I used to love browsing and collecting decorations. 

But after going through them all during the tidying festival, as Marie Kondo likes to call it, I realized some of the decorations didn’t have any meaning, some of them had ended up spending years in boxes, and the majority of them I didn’t have the time or energy to dust. 

Downsizing to just those pieces that actually brought us joy made those fewer pieces really stand out and made me happier every time I saw them.

Clothing:

I wish I’d taken a photo of my closet before I started my tidying festival but at the time I was not looking to document my process and I was eager to let go of things as soon as possible. 

Now that I look at my original after photos I realize I’ve minimized the amount of clothing I have even further. It can be hard to resist buying clothes we don’t need (often beautiful but impractical) but now I’m able to do that.

Textiles:

I used to buy new sheet sets because I liked the way they looked, not that I needed new ones. Now we have two per bed that we rotate. 

Similarly, I used to have an avalanche of (throw) pillows, which are by the way tricky to pass on. I had purchased the pillows (unconsciously) not because I needed them but because styled interior photos always had beautiful pillows so it seemed like they would make my home nicer. 

It turned out that what really made my home nicer was having less stuff. 

Kitchenware:

No more unmatching bowls, cups, or utensils. No more gadgets that rarely get used.

Perishables:

When it comes to kitchen pantry items, I no longer buy spices, canned items, or dry goods that I’m unlikely to finish up. I stick to staples that I know we’ll eat. We have a plethora of restaurants all around us where we can easily experiment with new foods. As a standard home chef, I don’t have to have every spice stocked.

Similarly, with bathroom-related items instead of experimenting with new brands I now like to stick with tried and true products and I also don’t stock up for an extended period of time.

Toys:

I was lucky to stumble upon the KonMari Method right around the same time when my oldest child was born. Still, as a new parent, it took time to establish a good routine around toys. 

Most importantly I’ve learned to say ‘no’ to my kids. 

I’ve also learned to be proactive and request certain items from family members who want to give gifts to my kids anyway.

Paper:

I love Marie Kondo’s approach on paper: Let go of it!

I recycle any mail that isn't needed right away. Mail that looks important I open next to the recycling bin and deal with it right away if at all possible. 

I don’t keep paper piles and save as little paper as possible - no manuals, receipts, etc. Most can be found online and electronically. I’ve requested electronic versions of paper when possible and automated most payments. 

I’ve never particularly liked organizing paper so letting it go has been freeing for me. My family has two magazine holders' worth of important papers.

Just-In-Case Items:

If it’s not a yes, then it’s a no.

Old textbooks, electronics that didn’t work in the USA, and a dress that was gorgeous but I had never found an occasion to wear are some examples of items I had stored for years just in case. 

Ten years after letting them go not once have I missed them!

Sentimental Items:

By the time I had gone through all the other items in my home, I was ready to deal with the sentimental items. 

I realized that in this category, just like in the other categories, I had unconsciously held beliefs that there are items we just need to keep, like printed-out photos. But when I started going through them systematically I realized a lot of the photos were duplicates, didn’t bring up any emotions, or were just plain bad. 

It felt good to let them all go and know that I was left with the best of the best!

3 Home Maintenance

Since KonMari’ing my home I’ve become much better at maintaining a clean and tidy home. 

This is a big deal as I’m a person who prefers a tidy and clean house but dislikes cleaning.

Now I also know that the reason for this preference is the fact that I find it difficult to concentrate and relax in an untidy environment.

I have achieved this not by becoming better at cleaning but by making my home low-maintenance. This I’ve done by removing just-in-case items, by removing any unused or unloved items, and by saying no to new things if I don’t have a need for them.

I used to spend so much time stressing about the state of my home rather than doing something about it. 

Now I’m able to let go of perfectionism and just do what is required as well as I can in the time that I have.

Since my tidying festival I’ve developed and maintained new systems that help our home stay clutter-free:

• Doing a nightly tidying reset;

• Doing a mini tidying reset before leaving the house (is there anything we can put back where they belong before we head out?);

• Cleaning as I cook;

• Never leaving a room empty-handed.

Basically, taking care of things when they are still small before they grow into mountains.

4 Gratitude

Gratitude plays a major role in the KonMari Method. Since learning about the KonMari Method I’ve started practicing expressing gratitude. It felt like a natural progression. This helps me notice all the little things in a day that are wonderful!

I’ve also taught this to my kids. Sometimes at bedtime, I ask them to list three good things about the day (especially after a day when they’ve found many things to complain about). Once they get going my 6-year-old could list many more than three and my 10-year-old sometimes begrudgingly admits good things have happened.

Our minds may tend to gravitate towards the negative but remembering to be grateful will increase our life satisfaction.

5 Stress

Before coming across the Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, I wouldn’t have described myself as stressed. There was nothing to be stressed about! But it turns out my understanding of stress was too narrow.

Only afterward can I say that even some of my physical symptoms have been caused by chronic stress.

Some of the stress was caused by the environment and clearing clutter helped greatly. Decluttering my home made me calmer and happier on a daily basis. More and more I was able to concentrate on the good (Washing plates, bowls, and cups that all brought me joy.) rather than the bad (Why should I clean after someone else? Because how lucky am I to have people in my life!). 

Less stuff meant less time to manage them and more time for what actually mattered.

Some of the stress was caused by not living up to my own standards. I had to speak up, say no, take responsibility, use my time wisely, and act. I had to learn to put myself first, learn breathing exercises, meditate, and do whatever it took to be the best version of myself. 

Not easy but doable in a tidy home.

6 Self-Awareness

Repeatedly asking the question ‘Does it spark joy?’ grew my self-awareness. More precisely, it made me realize I always knew myself and what I liked and wanted but at some point, I had started to prioritize pleasing others or simply hiding my true self.

The KonMari process made me braver, less apologetic, and less of a people pleaser. 

Asking myself thousands of times if something sparked joy made me a better decision-maker.

Now I know what I like and will keep an item even if others don’t think I should and vice versa. I will not get or keep an item if I don’t want to even if others would strongly feel like I should.

Now I live according to my own values even if they differ from what the majority’s social norms are.

The KonMari Method empowered me.

Going through the tidying festival also made me realize I was a recovering perfectionist. Getting things right was so important that oftentimes I didn’t even get started. The possibility of failure was debilitating.

Since then, my motto has been ‘Done is better than perfect.’. 

In the early years, I had to repeatedly tell myself this until I had internalized it fully.

All of this was hard to admit at first. But since then I’ve realized many of us struggle with similar issues without even being aware of it. Going through our belongings, one by one, will make us aware.

7 Using Time Wisely

The question ‘Does it spark joy?’ has very organically followed me wherever I’ve gone and whatever I’ve done. I don’t just use it for things, I use it for everything!

Examples:

Question: Did my mornings spark joy? 

Answer: Not really. I felt rushed and had zero time for myself. 

Solution: I decided to start waking up just 15 minutes before my son who’s an early riser. That 15 minutes made all the difference because now I had gotten myself ready for the day. I was ready to respond to his needs and felt good about myself the whole day.

Question: Did my free time spark joy? 

Answer: Not really. Too often I found myself daydreaming, watching HGTV, and surfing the web aimlessly, instead of taking care of myself or my home. 

Solution: Once I freed up time, I started filling it up with things that did spark joy like reading books, calling friends, visiting museums, doing yoga, going to the gym, taking walks in nature, etc.

The changes didn’t happen overnight. Rather, every day after I had used the KonMari Method to put my home in order, was a vote or a tiny step towards living my life the way I’d dream it to be. 

8 Taking Responsibility

The KonMari Method helped me see that life is full of choices and we can only ever change ourselves.

Very cleverly, in the KonMari Method Marie Kondo asks us to first look at our own things, not our spouses, parents, siblings, or kids. Just ours. This was eye-opening to me!

Why is it that we often feel the other person is the one to blame? He’s the messy one. She has much more clutter than I do. 

It’s easier to blame others than to look into the mirror and face our own shortcomings. What is even harder is to take responsibility for them.

Taking responsibility for our own things first will make us more compassionate towards others. Maybe they really are messier and own more clutter but realizing we’re not perfect either will help us help them. 

(Of course, in a family there are many items that are shared but usually even for the shared items one family member is more invested in certain items be that cooking tools or woodworking tools.)

The KonMari Method taught me to start taking responsibility for my own decisions and to become more solution-oriented. 

If things are not going well or to my liking, what can I do to try and make it better?

I wish I could say I had learned this lesson as a kid and to some extent I had. I managed to get myself into a university, graduate, and find work. But deep inside I was surprised to learn I still held beliefs that others were in some way responsible for how my life was. Kind of an absurd thought, really!

9 Keep Learning

After experiencing how much a book can change one’s life, I became a life-long learner. I started reading books every day, watching educational videos, and gathering knowledge from different sources on the subjects that interested me or that I wanted to improve on.

Decluttering using the KonMari Method was what made all the positive changes in my life possible. It gave me the time, awareness, and empowerment to make changes in any aspect of my life. It has since been enhanced and further developed by many, many other books and resources.

I’m always on the lookout for interesting books, documentaries, podcasts, etc. to read, watch, and listen to. The best ones I share with friends, and you!

10 Work

Lastly, I became a KonMari Consultant and started my own business helping you and others organize their homes using the KonMari Method. 

Not in a million years would I have envisioned myself as self-employed. But I simply had to share what I had learned with whoever might benefit from it. I hope that’s you.